The worst off-spring ever

I'm sorry,the most unlucky parents,
To bear the worst-offspring ever.
I surely can understand,
The expectations you had from me.
But I'm extremely sorry,
For my incapability.
.
Being a lone child&that too so rotten,
Defines your pain&distress.
Such insincerity&disobedience,
Describes your agony.
Nowhere visible when compared with so-called perfect,
Represents your grief.
.
From food-habits to lifestyle&studies,
I'm good for nothing.
Sorry for breaking all your dreams,
Of being such which you were unable to.
Exploiting your trust,
&extremely hurting you.
.
Thank you both for fulfilling my needs& desires,
&being there always by my side with financial help.
I'll never say it was your duty,
As I truly believe,its not compulsory.
You are the best parents one could ever have,
Yet,so unlucky to have me.
.
I know you feel,
I'm so careless&dumb.
After all your speeches,
Continuing same what was doing earlier.
But papa,I do care,
Yet,unable to show you back.
.
I'm sorry for being the child,
Because of whom you listen all shits.
Getting taunts in critical situations,
&bearing embarrassments.
But mom,have I did some jobs of,
'Khandan ki izzat dubana'&'nak katwana'?
.
I know you are unhappy of everything,
What I do&what I don't.
Totally unsatisfied,
&blaming for all the bad you suffer.
I truly know,you have thousands of complains,
But I'm really sorry for everything.
.
Running enthusiastically to you for help,
Was my eagerness to achieve some good.
&making you proud.
But unable to continue on that path,
Was the reason I can't handle someone sitting over my head,dictating.
.
I know history was my choice,
But at the same time,was my compulsion.
English was the sub I wanted,
I know,now nothing can be done,
&have to complete at least graduation.
But papa,my dream is to be a good writer or poet,
Yet,you reframe my writing as escapism.
.
You will never know how I feel,
When mom,you utter such emotional dialogues.
"I'll be the reason for you people's death",
&"still the reason of health hazard".
I know,I'm the reason of your worries,
But believe me,I'm well informed with my responsiblity.
.
I pray,
May one day I become the reason of your pride.
Or if unable to gift that,
Then may my existence goes extinct.
-Fauzia Afreen